Bhau.....hey 'paradox' kai asta?

We should thank our stars (not the ones living on Bandstand) but the ones that are missing these days thanks to the pollution...atleast I dont see them. Hey SRK, lets have another round of Yeh Tara Woh Tara...Har Tara.

Isn't it silly that one of the premier standards agency of India and the alleged conspiring intelligence agency of our neighbour are both named ISI?

Needless to say there may have been some horrible one liners or deranged versions of sidhuism (Even I am called Sidhu in my society!) on Qasab....like the obvious...Yeh Qasab to ISI mark vaala terrorist hain...which would mean he is fit as per the Indian Standards Institute to carry out all his activities...(just imagine!)

Speaking of paradox in the layman's terms....its when Obama gets a peace prize and then declares additional troops to Af-gan-is-taan as he eloquently pronounces it. Another example of how he loves to "change" his stance.

Our neighbours seem to be affected by a syndrome worse than that suffered by Sanjay Singhania from Ghajini....They first disown, then accept and then claim they are victims of ISI mark vaala terrorists! operating freely in thier country. I shouldn't harp on the ISI jokes to much or our neighbours may pounce on us saying ISI is an Indian Intelligence Agency! Haha!

Anyway as I come to the end of another horrible post on this not so good blog...I once again wonder why I take the effort...especially considering I am Garfield's understudy...hoping to be like the Cool Cat himself....(I was gonna say be as famous...but I am sure Ill be as fat as him!)

P.S: I cant wait to hear a terrorist/singer from the other side singing....Pocket mein Rocket hain!

Sayonara freaks!

Doca Moad Doca Moad......Docaaa Mooad!

I hope you get the bad joke coz these days many of you guys n girls living here in Maharashtra dont understand a word of the language and still seem proud of it....that too Manse (I wanted to say Dil se but then thought another bad joke wont hurt!) (Doca is 'Head' in Marathi and Moad I presume means break in Marathi)

This mobile service ad is probably the most irritating tone I have heard since the 'Aiwa....Aiwa' jingle hit the idiot box more than a decade ago.

But this time I really feel like breaking my head when the 'DocaMoad' ad arrives...especially the one where the chorus sings it proudly in a train that definitely seems to be heading for a dead end. (Was the background the imagined Chan-gai....which Vilasbhau wanted Mumbai to become...dream on!)

Then you have the "yum yum yum yum....how dum(b)" burger ad with a guy making a mockery of the sanctity of the word 'yum' in the southie culture. Time to call the real 'Yum (Raj)' (no not that Raj silly!) and then the guy wont be loving any bit of it!

Coming back to language row....I remember a certain AB Jr. playing a Marathi mulga back from the US of A (aila) and becoming the next Sarkar....but 'donihi chitrapatat toh melya Marathit ekahi vakya naahi bolla' (great job AB Jr. you really played the part of a hot blooded son of the soil (bred on american soil...hehe!)

But then why single him out...that was a film....and I dont want to know if he knows the barakhadi....but I hope for the love of Maharashtra that he isnt one of those disgusting kind who makes fun of the culture and the language.

Not knowing Marathi these days is become a status symbol in Mumbai....now that certain governments want Mumbai to become a Cash cow for the Outsiders.....n I dont mean the Kasabs, Atifs and Samis.....I mean those Indians who in other circumstances would want their rituals and language preserved but care two hoots for us locals.

I am not a hooligan....coz I am to lazy to be one.....I am not an activist either coz as the name suggests it involves a lot of activity.....but I am a proud Maharashtrian....as much as I am a proud Indian.

I love the contributions made by the King of wit...Shri Pu La Deshpande....who floored us all with his amazing comic timing.....I am a fan of Shivaji Maharaj.....a king who respected men and women for who they were as individuals.

Whats more irritating than the 'DocaMoad' advertisement is the apathy of today's youth towards Mumbai and Maharashtra . I may speak some horrible variety of Marathi but I will keep speaking until I get perfect at it....coz I live in this city and I love this language!

Lets preserve it and respect it so we dont have to see some men using it as an excuse to get a few hundred votes in the next election.

Garvane Boltoy....Mee Marathi Aahe!

All the Best, Mr. Khanna...You and your wife just went for a 'Blue' film!

Now look, I know the last part... especially the blue film joke is now overused, but then what do you expect a lazy bugger like me to do....make original ones? But then I rob both good and bad jokes! Atleast I dont rob good jokes and make desi howlers out of them....unlike the patrons of the Hindi Film Industry that I usually swear by.

Anyway their howlers seem awfully entertaining to most and being someone who is known to sit on his ass and do nothing I have no right (or desire) to criticize them.

After listening to various reviews of all the movies that released during the Diwali weekend...I still feel it would be better to go for all of them instead of sitting home, waiting to get deaf thanks to the little terrorists everywhere (please dont take this seriously....Bombs and crackers arent child's play atleast I thought!)

Now the 'Blue' film has a good looking 'grey' character (too many colours? ya!) who I presume has no herione...unless Ozzie pop stars are his kind of girls.....a grandfather clock type human being playing the central character with a babe as his wife who gives one the impression that if they both stood on thier wedding day....(that day) she would have been a balika vadhu...so cute (naah!)

And whats more that the 'grandfather clock' actually has a brother who looks like his son....(Is he the only guy cursed in the family?) The sharks in the trailer were more exciting to look at than the younger brother (Who am I to say this...I look like a goof too...the King of goofs)

These people travel 250 feet deep to hunt for treasure....well I hope they find it and dump the grandfather clock so that the babe is available for the other guys! (hehe)

Mr. Khanna or whatever his name is...normally asks 1 or 2 people questions with the same old beginning..."Kitne pratishat bhartiya..." Now I ask myself....."Kitne pratishat bhartiya...can understand what he says in the first place....and if a number of them do....does anybody amongst them wish to watch a 'shirt nikaling...body dikhaing....Wanted man on screen with Mrs. Khanna (who the hell is that?) along with a 'Kisaan' for company?''

Well I do...and I hope to catch it before...some other movie comes along.

Oh yeah and considering my exams are on.....'All the Best' is probably the best choice....atleast without any sort of entertainment among other things.... I'd be getting encouragement....for whatever its worth!

Now you may feel under the pretext of being 'excited' I have as usual sat back and taken pot shots at the movies...but then thats what the PUBLIC is for....

So until then.....remember the sallu songs...."Dont say Alvida...na kaho Alvida"

oh and for those 'pratishat bhartiya' who love the wanted guy....and by now after reading this blog hate me....here is another sallu special (ofcourse modified by me...hehe)

"Hate me Hate me Hate me, your maama says you Hate me paapa says you hate me, hate me baby hate me

tere sar zindagi bhar khaane ka iraada hai hate me hate me hate me he says hate me hate me stop"

Ciao...

Close your ears.....its Diwali!

As I take another bite of the sweets that I got for Diwali, its not my stomach or my teeth that are complaining.....because my ears seem beaten up by the sound of bombs and crackers

The idea of welcoming through a diya or a lamp is a very amazing idea but all of it seems lost in the current scheme of things. Being a lazy bugger (as the name suggests) and a strong athiest I never venture into the task of lighting a lamp but still I would rather see parents and children usher in Diwali by doing so and not bursting some of the ridiculously loud crackers and bombs that are in fashion these days.

Its become that time of the year when some of us want to flex thier 'cash' muscles and make a statement. I am fine with that but that statement just like thier fashion sense is too loud! Its so loud that even without proper research I can safely say that many people in this generation and the next will probably go deaf for no fault of thier own. Its kinda like passive smoking, only the noise slowly kills your ears and makes you a character of 'Sarabhai V/s Sarabhai' aka Madhu Bhai (for those who didnt watch it...sorry I am too lazy to explain) Sometimes I think if these kids and thier parents enjoy blasts so much....maybe they can be put into the NSG battling the guys who burn crackers that are more destructive and noisy! But I guess that would never happen....sigh.

Happiness is a fundamental right...infact its the one thing that cannot be easily defined, but I wish that people find an alternative method of showcasing the depth of thier pockets rather than testing the limits of our ear drums.

Till we meet again....Have a safe Diwali...n dont forget to wear earplugs!