Saturday, January 9, 2010

I'd like to thank......

Once upon a time, I was born in this world. Since then I have remembered 3 constitutional rights, 1) Eating all you can
2) Sleeping whenever you can
3) Complaining all you can at the slightest opportunity!

Yes those 3 beautiful things that every lazy bugger always stands by. But in the recent past, things seem to be a lot clearer despite the rising pollution levels in Mumbai. I may not be able to see stars anymore but I can now see things more important than them.

When I joined school, the complaint was that there were richer kids with much better lunch boxes and compass boxes. I didnt like the fact that I didnt have them. I would secretly want to be in their place. Yeah Yeah I was pathetic....kids are like that and what would surprise you is that even I was a kid!

At home, my mom seemed to be the one person who would find many flaws in my character and I never liked her for that. I had complaints from my dad too....I didnt get as many material things from him as the other 'Bandra' kids would from thier old men!

But my old man and his wife gave me 3 things in such abundance that I can never run out of them...and those wonderful gifts are love, patience and understanding. Now I dont wanna be in any other place!

But even though its not possible to turn back time and change myself...I'd like to thank my parents for being there and bearing the 3 stupid rights that I'd throw at them from time to time.

I complained that I didnt have many great friends until I met 3 idiots just like me in school. And though they're much smarter....I seemed to connect with them and till date I'm very close to each one of them. Bhanu, Rochan and Nimish.....I dont know how I'd enjoy school life without you three!

College didnt seem the glamorous type (for me a glamorous college would be one serving pizzas and 'amburgers for me whenever I'd want to have one!)....but there I met another 3 lunatics who have made my life all the more special. Kunal, Navin and that imbicle of a little brother that I have adopted...Pratik. Sometimes I wonder do all good things come in three's, first my stupid rights, then my family i.e. Mom, Dad and my ego (hehe) and then friends who would have one quantity in abundance, that I crave for...honesty in thier words, thoughts and opinions (dont look at me...even liars like me can have 'true' friends...hehe!)

Anyway as I come to the end of this oscar type speech.....I'd like to give each one of these special people an oscar for bearing a pompous arse like me! You guys make me tick.....and even tho Im a prick...im sure our relationship will stick...


I'd like to borrow a line from the friends theme song to bring this post to an absolute cliché...but hey I really mean it when I say.....I'll be there for you...coz you're there for me too!


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

April fool banaya....on January 1st 2010

One of the leading newspapers earned some extra cash on the first day of this new year by posting an advertisement which broadly states that we must 'love' our 'dear' neighbours.....yes those 'kind hearted' , 'warm' , 'non fundamentalist' , 'non violent!' people who so dearly love us!

I think the idea is nice....but they should have posted it on the first of April....because then we could understand the joke behind this 'serious' post!

Atleast Mr. Chopra's new film agrees with the idea....Love between us and our 'dear' neighbours is one heck of a 'PYAR IMPOSSIBLE'

Now there are many of you who would disagree and yeah you are entitled to your opinion, but within a year since another gruesome attack by the 'cooks' from our neighbouring country (Qasab seems to pakao a new story with ease thanks to his culinary talents)

They did manage to cook up a storm and now a year later, conveniently we want to forget that....sorry I'm not Sanjay Singhania....and hey even he didnt forget his revenge!

Now now....I am not supporting the 'kamal' or the 'haath' or any elephants, cycles, tigers and even railway trains. I have watched the news (lets forget the biased news channels) and though thankfully I didnt lose anyone on 26th of November, peace for me sounds as hilarious as 3 idiots....(I meant it...the film is amazing!)

Now I dont want to be an 'idiot' and forget everything that happened and dont blame me for the paranoia about civilians from our neighbouring country walking free in cultural programs....coz try and imagine this.....If a cook can be part of a master plan and keep Mumbai on the edge for close to 72 hours....what can thier singers, comedians and other 'consummate' professionals do if given the opportunity! (That was mean of me....but hey atleast I dont dangle an automatic kalashnikov on the road and terrorise people!)

Not to mention, one of the so called partners in this exchange from our 'dear' neighbours side is ironically called 'Jang' if my memory serves me right!

So call me what you want...this lazy bugger wants no such pathetic attempt at peace...whats more I dont want a single man/woman or child from our neighbouring country to earn even a single rupee from our land.

But that wont happen coz our film buffs and celebrities love to be associated with their singers who either sound like they're constipated..remember the 'kaise bataye....yeh pet haaye yaara bataa na paaye...tu jaane naa' (ok I modified it) and then lazier bums singing 'thodi si to lift karaa de' . (Will I enjoy these songs...Kabhi Nahi Kabhi Nahi...Kabhi Nahi!)

I may be unreasonable....but so many wars and attacks later.......I have lost patience with these c(r)ooks!

But then our elected government would decide whether they should 'badhao' the 'haath' or not...so as a lazy bugger all I can say is 'Ab tumhare hawale watan saathiyo'